What Your Adoptee Needs from You

When we decided that our lives were missing a key element, my husband and I agreed that the thing that was missing was having a child. Because of medical issues, I was not able to carry a pregnancy and adoption was our only option once we realized we wanted to become parents.

My husband and I both collected research from all sources, asked for advice from family and friends about their journey in becoming parents, and decided to pursue our dreams of becoming parents when we felt well prepared to move forward.

There is no better feeling than being told you will be a parent. Everything we had been waiting for, dreaming for, praying for was about to happen…we were going to have a baby.

She has been our daughter from the moment we first held her. We have loved her unconditionally, supported every dream she has shared with us, helped her when she was hurt, laughed with her when she was silly, and cried with her when she was in pain, and we answer her questions when we’re able to always with love and compassion. We have treated her no differently than her friends’ parents treat their biological children.

We were very lucky to become adoptive parents to my daughter when she was a newborn. She has grown up knowing us as her parents and also with the knowledge that she was adopted at birth. Like any child deserves we have always been honest with her; we have always been straight forward and open with her about the subject of her adoption. But that’s where the line of differences is drawn…by EVERY other means…she IS our daughter. Why should we treat her any differently?

Every child deserves unconditional love from both parents, extended family and friends, and ours certainly has that from us and ours. She loves to cook like her grandmother, she has my sense of sarcasm, and her dad’s curiosity with science and math. She loves to play with her cousins, she values everyone in our extended family…we’ve raised her the way we would have raised her even if she was our biological child. In our minds we see no difference. 

I never knew I could love another person as much as I love her; the fact that my body did not carry her is an irrelevant point. Why should it matter that my body did not create her or carry her? In my mind, it doesn’t.

It simply doesn’t matter to us, or to those who know her, or our family that she was not born from my body; what matters is the fact that she’s a kind, sweet and sensitive person. In every single sense of the word, she IS our daughter…plain, simple, and true. We love her, support her, and accept her for who she is. The fact that she is adopted is simply not an issue. I truly, sincerely and honestly don’t see why any adopted child should be treated any differently than a biological child. Our family is just as solid, just as loving and just as natural as everyone else’s, adoption aside, because to us it truly isn’t any different.

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